INSTRUCTIONS FOR A SORT OF CARD GAME SEXY CHRIS AND MYSELF MADE UP
..SOMETHING TO KILL A BIT OF TIME IF YOU'RE AT A LOOSE END AND YOU'RE BORED OF BUGGERING SWANS.
WHAT YOU NEED
- A pack of cards (Don't need the 8 of diamonds)
- Dice (several)
- 12 dozen eggs
- A child's shoe
- Bog roll
- Deal the cards; 8 for the dealer, 10 for Sexy Chris.
- Roll the dice. It's a 4. That means you take one of the twigs/handful of soil
- Roll again
- ROLL AGAIN!
- If it's an even number then smash an egg. If it's an odd number then move back to the start.
- Deal the cards again and again until someone gets an ace.
- 7, 5, Jack, 2...And so on.
- Sexy Chris has the ace. Now he has to put an egg into the child's shoe and luzz it into the canal.
- Remember that if someone rolls a 6 after they've laid down a queen then the game is over. No one wins.
- 9 of clubs? Very nice.
- Roll again and again and again until until someone is victorious.
- The person with the least amount of soil at the end is the overall winner.
- Force-feed any remaining eggs down Sexy Chris' throat. Point and laugh whilst Sexy Chris cries and vomits at the same time. I fucking hate Sexy Chris.