HOW TO MAKE A WALTHAM POCKET
1 - Cover your hands in batter and turn on the oven.
2 - Boil all the eggs. ALL THE EGGS!
3 - Punch a swan in the throat, relax, for God's sake! It's your party! Let your hair down and have some fun for once!
4 - Peel the carrots
5 - Throw the carrots in the bin. You won't need them. They'll spoil it.
6 - Make sure you've boiled all the eggs.
7 - Fish a dog out of the bins from behind the vets / Martin Clunes' flat.
8 - Warm the plates and lay the table. Did you boil all the fucking eggs?
9 - Shove the eggs up the dogs' arse, serve and eat
10 - For dessert how about some Vienetta or a Twix?