TOOLS 
ARE LEFT 
IN THE 
VAN 
OVERNIGHT!

Police have warned of a surge in cases of tradesmen leaving tools in their vans overnight despite plastering their vehicles with stickers which claim otherwise.
Information from burglars has played a vital role in outing dozens of van owners who have now been exposed as deceptive liars who willingly employ underhanded tactics in a callous attempt to protect their personal property.

Part time criminal, Jamie Knawvax, claimed that he robbed a van whilst pissed, fully expecting it to be empty, only to be confronted with thousands of pounds worth of tools and building equipment.

“I was on my way back from the pub with a mate and we came across a van with one of those stickers that says ‘No tools are left in this van overnight’ ” he said.
“My mate reckoned that the trades probably did leave them in there and I disagreed as I  like to believe that most people are a little bit more honest and trustworthy than that” he continued.

“To settle a bet we busted open the van’s back doors and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that it was full to the brim. I ended up going home with thousands of pounds worth of power-tools but couldn’t help feeling slightly disappointed that I’d been lied to”

Detective Constable Robin Faunce said that this isn’t an isolated case and police have been receiving dozens of reports about small businesses and sole traders who have attempted to deceive the general public by using stickers which claim that they take their gear indoors every night when they don’t.

“It’s a pretty sad state of affairs” he said.

“People out on the rob get given a hard time for being dishonest but now it seems that the people who are actually getting robbed have resorted to using misleading techniques that are frankly no less sneaky and conniving” he continued.
“As a police officer, it’s very difficult to know whose side we should be on”

Ministers have been urged to introduce a new law which would prevent all plumbers, builders and electricians from being allowed to fabricate the truth on their vans in sticker form.
If passed the new legislation could come with statutory minimum terms, meaning that in most circumstances, anyone misusing a ‘No tools are kept in the van overnight’ sticker, would face a lengthy prison sentence.