LOOK LIKE A 
 RIGHT PLUM


"I got married in mine" - Wiliam Hague (Foreign Secretary)

"It makes me look like I've got gay legs" - Ian Rush (Former Welsh Footballer)

"I don't want one thanks" - The woman from the Renault Clio advert

 "MY MATE GRAHAM STOVE HAS GOT HIS HEAD STUCK IN A BOTTLE BANK. SOME KIDS ARE PUTTING BOTTLES UP HIS BUM FOR A LAUGH. I THINK HE MIGHT BE DEAD"




THE Gus The Fox
BOOK OF
BULLSHIT

Did you know...
that all horses are blind?
Jurassic Park was actually written by Chuck Berry?
Michael Jackson was actually an owl called Timothy Bucknell? 

CONTAINS OVER 
900 000
UNTRUE FACTS AND FIGURES
  • Did you know that all fishermen are paedophiles?
  • Did you know that earthquakes happen because of something to do with ham?
  • Did you know that crabs were invented in 1921 and primarily used to ferry small parcels from A to B in post offices?
  • Sticky Mike?
  • Did you know that the tallest building in London is only 9 ft high?
  • Did you know that swans have HD vision? (also some of them have alloy wheels)
  • Did you know that David Cameron has never stabbed a horse to death with a kebab knife?
  • Did you know that most of the Bible was written in 1952 by 11 year old, Justin Bunty, as part of a school project on ethics?
  • Did you know that if the sun wasn't on fire it would look a bit like pig riding a tractor?
  • Did you know that there are no moths in Devon because everyone there finds them scary?
  • Did you know that William Shakespeare wrote over 400 plays about having sex with cats, none of which have ever been published?
  • Did you know that Japan doesn't really exist and is actually just a rumour started by Kriss Akabusi for a laugh?
-These are just a few of the totally inaccurate facts in the' Gus The Fox Book Of Bullshit' Collection-

A thorough and exhaustive source of misleading and untruthful information compiled by Gus The Fox and his mate James the Haemophiliac Wood Pigeon. Confusing for children, pointless for adults, you'll love this collection of gibberish printed over five volumes. 

---------------------------$2


Frogs




SOME SHIT THAT A FROG 


might be thinking 


I don't know exactly what goes on in the mind of a frog. I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd love the opportunity to climb inside the mind of an amphibian and have a big old wander about. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"Haha. Look at the shape of my legs. They're absolutely bloody ridiculous. Deary me."


"I sometimes get the impression that Owen doesn't like me"


"I wish I hadn't just had sex with that toothbrush. Come on Rob, you've got to get your act together mate"



"FUCK ME! That dragonfly's got fat legs"



"Blimey. I know she's just a tadpole but I probably still would. I know it's a bit wrong but I totally would"



"I'm jealous of Owen Sledge. His webbed feet are magnificent. And his ribbit...Wow...Can that guy ribbit"


"I've fallen out of love with Jenny"


"Wow. Sitting on a lily pad certainly isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm bored out of my fucking skull"




"I wish I was dead. I'm tired of crying"



" I'm licking a butterfly. I'm licking a butterfly. I'm licking a butterfly"


"Maybe I should take Owen's advice and move to France"


"I reckon I could beat up a dog. I'm not saying it'd be easy but I reckon I could"




"MY TONGUE STINKS"



"How did I end up in William Hague's toilet? And why's it full of blood?"


"I wish I hadn't grown these wretched sideburns. I feel like a prize cunt. I hope I don't bump into Cheryl"