As it's approaching Christmas, I asked 6 of Britain’s favourite celebrities what they’d do if they were trapped on a desert island with only 100 eggs for company
1 - MATT BAKER (The One Show) 41
“This is one of those questions that you spend a lot of time thinking about when you’re staring out of a train window isn’t it? So I’ve certainly given it a lot of thought.
I think if I could get a fire going I’d try and hard boil them and then peel off the shells. After that I’d store them in a rock pool and dedicate my days to fending off crabs with a stick. The saline water would act as a preservative so I’d probably eat one per day for 100 days and if I hadn’t been rescued after that then I’d probably kill myself”
2 - VICTORIA DERBYSHIRE (Journalist and Broadcaster) 51
“I think it’s fair to say that if you ground down the egg shells into a sort of powder and then used the remaining albumen as a binding agent you could probably start to fashion a half decent raft using your hands. Once it was baked under the scorching sun I wonder whether you wouldn’t end up with something not dissimilar to fibre glass. After that it would simply be a case of hitting the open seas and feasting on the remaining yolks until you came across civilisation”
3 - PETER JONES (Dragon and Entrepreneur) 53
“I don’t know if this would work but I’d probably try and incubate the eggs in the hope that enough of them hatched. Once I had a clutch of chicks I’d try and spend the next few years selectively breeding the brood until I was left with a gigantic super hen that had developed the ability to fly. After that it would just be a case of building some kind of enormous saddle out of vines and leaves and flying back home”
4 - JESY NELSON (Pop singer in Little Mix) 28
“In the 2000 survival movie ‘Castaway’, Tom Hanks keeps insanity at bay by drawing a face on a volleyball with his own blood. With that in mind I’d probably do something similar on each one of the 100 eggs and give them all a name and intricate backstory. As someone with a head that’s exactly the same shape as an egg I don’t think it would take me long to integrate into their society and I’d hopefully be able to see out the rest of my days without feeling even the slightest twinge of loneliness”
5 - KIERAN TRIPPER (England footballer) 29
“It’s well known that eggs sink when they’re fresh and float when they’ve gone off. With that in mind I’d try and stay alive long enough for the eggs to expire and then I’d simply put them in the sea and let them teach me how to swim. Once I felt like they’d taught me everything I need to know and I’d gleaned enough knowledge from the avian ovulations it would be a case of setting my sights on the horizon and making good my escape”
6 - SIR IAN McKELLEN (ACTOR) 80
“When eggs or egg products are heated, Hydrogen Sulphide is produced as a result of non-enzymic reactions. H2S is a dangerous colourless gas that’s both flammable and explosive. With 100 eggs at my disposal, I don’t think it would be beyond the realms of imagination to think that I’d be able to build a veritable arsenal of fairly effective flares and grenades using hollowed-out mangos which would hopefully be visible to any ships and planes within a 50 mile radius.
If that didn’t work then I understand that Hydrogen Sulphide is used to produce heavy water for nuclear power plants so it would simply be a case of working out how to split the atom using coconut shells and after that figuring out how to build some kind of nuclear power boat that could blast me back to west end like Prospero from Bill Shakespeare’s ‘The Tempest’”