wish LIST                  

1 - A bald rat

2 - Wasps

3 - A top hat / condoms

4 - A swan grinder

5 - A Terry's Chocolate Orange

6 - Some sort of ham (preferably rancid/old)

7 - A puffin (possibly wearing a little bomber jacket if possible)

8 - Bunty Hoven

9 - A brand new pair of testicles.

10 - 1000 hens


  1. Fucking hate wasps! you manky old cunt! ;)

  2. There's a rat with alopecia living under my shed. Would that do? It's a really mangy looking thing and has a stumpy tail - presumably it fell off due to some sort of plague it's brewing, either that or a fox bit it off! You're more than welcome to it.

  3. I hope the rancid Turkey you eat on Christmas day is absolutely teaming with wasps.

  4. Don't buy a Swan Grinder if anyone gets you gift vouchers, they are shite and break after a couple of swans, they are suitable for ducks at most really. I've found that an old fashioned hand mincer is best for swans or most long necked birds in general. I'm hoping to try mine out on an emu this year. Wish me luck!