A SHORT CONVERSATION WITH THE BIN MAN  


BINMAN: Alright.

GUS: Alright.

BINMAN: You're a fox. That's right isn't it?

GUS: Yep. That's right.


BINMAN: I can tell because you're ginger and you're walking on all fours.

GUS: ...Um...


BINMAN: You're up early.

GUS: Yeah well I'm just having a root through the bins. Seeing if there's anything that tickles my fancy. When the sun comes up I usually fuck off back to my stinking pit.

BINMAN: Would you like to see my penis? I'll get it out for you if you like. I don't mind.

GUS: Come again.

BINMAN: Would you like to see my penis? I'll get it out for you if you like. We could go and have sex behind that skip that's full of bricks and bits of scaffolding.

GUS: No thanks...That...I don't want to do that cheers.


BINMAN: I found a bag full of vaginas this morning

GUS: What?

BINMAN: I found a bag full of pig's vaginas in Philip Schofield's bin this morning. The whole place stank to high heaven. I could give you one.


GUS: You could...

BINMAN: I could give you one. Fish it out from the back of the truck.

GUS: And... I mean obviously I'm interested. Is there any way of doing this whereby I get my hands on these pig's vaginas and I don't have to have sex with you? Or is that sort of a deal breaker? 

BINMAN: It's a bit of a deal breaker to be honest Captain.

GUS: Fair enough, fair enough. I'll meet you behind that van in a minute then. I'm just going to pop over behind that cement mixer and get my shit together. 

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