1 - Wake up

2 - Yawn and have a little think about the day ahead.

3 - Vomit up yesterday's dinner (bugs / slop / filth etc) in corner of revolting pit

4 - Have a little look at bollocks (Oh dear. They're not looking in very good nick today are they? At least they haven't fucking fallen off yet)

5 - Breakfast 

6 -  Wander up canal taking some time out to bark at swans and people in wheelchairs

7 - Meet Sexy Chris (Why is Sexy Chris dressed up as Jesus? Sexy Chris is such a knob)

8 - Continue wandering about. (Have a mince through the graveyard for instance) 

9 - Visit Clunes

10 - Rummage through bins / Make a right pig's ear of some cunt's driveway

11 - Visit prostitutes for snacks and cuddles. 

12 - Return to lodgings

13 - Have an unpleasant and painful shit at mouth of cave

14 - Curl up and fall asleep (whilst mumbling about wasps)

*  Make sure to constantly scream and yell like an idiot, for no reason, between points 6 and 10