1 - Wake up
2 - Yawn and have a little think about the day ahead.
3 - Vomit up yesterday's dinner (bugs / slop / filth etc) in corner of revolting pit
4 - Have a little look at bollocks (Oh dear. They're not looking in very good nick today are they? At least they haven't fucking fallen off yet)
5 - Breakfast
6 - Wander up canal taking some time out to bark at swans and people in wheelchairs
7 - Meet Sexy Chris (Why is Sexy Chris dressed up as Jesus? Sexy Chris is such a knob)
8 - Continue wandering about. (Have a mince through the graveyard for instance)
9 - Visit Clunes
10 - Rummage through bins / Make a right pig's ear of some cunt's driveway
11 - Visit prostitutes for snacks and cuddles.
12 - Return to lodgings
13 - Have an unpleasant and painful shit at mouth of cave
14 - Curl up and fall asleep (whilst mumbling about wasps)
* Make sure to constantly scream and yell like an idiot, for no reason, between points 6 and 10