BUTTER

There's no doubt that butter plagiarism is one of the hottest topics in the country at the moment and with every low-budget, margarine peddler desperate to produce their own version of 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' whilst simultaneously trying to avoid a lengthy court case, there's never been a better time to produce your own knock-off spread while the going's good.
'You'd think it's Butter', 'What, not butter' and the enchantingly named 'Memories of Butter' have already been snapped up by canny businessmen, guaranteed to make their millions out of the thriving bargain-basement, yellow-spread, industry, but if you want in on the action and are worried that all the best variations have already been snapped up then fear not because I'm selling the below options for a one payment of just £50.
That's right, you can walk away with any of the following buttery titles for just £50. The counterfeit dairy industry is like the Klondike gold rush of the 1890s and you'd be fucking mental to miss out.
Pick from the following titles...

  • I Don't Think That's Butter
  • Yellow Spread: In Memorium
  • I Think I Need to be Sectioned Because I'm Fucking Convinced That That's Butter
  • Evocation of Spread
  • That's Butter Isn't It?...What It's Not?...Jesus Christ
  • The Halcyon Days of Butter
  • What? That's not butter? Get the Fuck Out of My Kitchen
  • I Bet It Is Butter. It's Definitely Similar to Butter
  • Dreams of a Yellow Spread
  • I Thought It Was Butter and Now I've Found Out That It Isn't My Life Has Completely Collapsed, I Don't Know What's Real, My Wife's Left Me, I'm Actually This Close To Blowing My Own Brains Out.
  • I Can Actually Slightly Believe That's Not Butter Because It Tastes Dreadful
  • I Can't Believe It's Not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
  • I Can't Believe It's Not I Can't Believe It's Not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
  • Do You Remember Butter? This Is A Bit Like That...A Bit
  • If Someone Told You This Was Butter You'd Probably Believe Them. At Best You Wouldn't Give A Shit Either Way
  • The History of Butter: Ad Nauseam
  • I Refused To Believe It Wasn't Butter, So I Went To The Factory And I'm Still Not Sure Because I Don't Know The Difference Between Butter and Margarine
  • Surely That's Butter, Surely That's Fucking Butter
  • Oh Dear, It Seems You've Been Labouring Under The Misapprehension That This is Butter
  • I Wish I Had Bought Butter Because This Yellow Shit From Aldi Is Giving Me The Squits
  • Butter Melancholy 
  • I Found Out This Wasn't Butter and Went Insane and Murdered A Bunch of Kids



Simply pick your number and send a cheque for £50 to 
Shed43, 
Behind Kwik Fit, 
Lovelace Street, 
Haggerston, 
N1 3JS

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