CHRIS KAMARA - "I CAN LEVITATE A COUPLE OF INCHES OFF THE GROUND
Ex footballer, Chris Kamara last night shocked fans by claiming that if he tries really hard he can actually hover a couple of inches off the ground for a few seconds.
The moustachioed pundit and football analyst made the spectacular claim via social media and explained how he’d always suspected that he may have the ability to float in midair but had never found the time to practice.
“Since being in isolation due to the Covid19 quarantine I finally decided to give it a jolly good crack and was thrilled to discover that I could indeed defy gravity and suspend myself about 10 centimetres off the floor for about 3 or 4 seconds at a time” he said in a video to his 22 thousand followers.
He went on to explain that he performs the miraculous feat by scrunching his eyes closed, gripping his fists really tightly and muttering abominable incantations which temporarily make his body a conduit for ancient Sumerian gods who use his soul as a portal to pass into this dimension from their own in Neolithic Mesopotamia.
“It’s a great party piece and I’m really looking forward to wowing the lads with it down the pub…when they finally reopen” he said before bursting into flames.