a short conversation with
martin clunes - - - - - - - - - - - -




IN CLUNES' KITCHEN / DINER
THIS AFTERNOON




CLUNES:
My name's Martin Clunes!


GUS: Yes, I know.

CLUNES: You're a fox and you pop into my flat to use my computer every now and again. Your name's Gus.

GUS: That's right.

CLUNES: My bin's full up with bollocks and lungs and that if you're hungry. I rugby tackled a dog to the ground this afternoon and it died so....

GUS: Ok. Cheers. I might...I might have a little root about in the bins later.

CLUNES: I hate throwing food away but I couldn't possibly eat any more and I have to go away for a few days to film a television drama about a man who murders a kid.

GUS: OK. That sounds good.

CLUNES: I've got the lead role. I play a man called Geoff Bennett. I get to wear a little hat.

GUS: ...

CLUNES: Right. Well I'm just going to pop out on my paper round and then I probably ought to shoot off and meet the people from the TV company.

GUS: OK.

CLUNES: I love you.

GUS: What?

CLUNES: Oh nothing I just...I'll see you later.

GUS: See you later

CLUNES: I once stabbed a horse to death because it looked at me funny.

GUS: Yes I remember you telling me.

CLUNES: OK, bye.

GUS: Yep. Bye