IN THE PAST 24 HOURS
1 - My paw
2 - My tail
3 - You know those little taps you get on the side of some houses? I think they're probably for a garden hose or something. Little brass tap. Well anyway, I put one of them in my gob and then I put it in my bum.
4 - Lamb (ancient / rank) - I found this in the boot of Gary Barlow's Land Rover. (Under the kites)
5 - A cygnet*
6 - Julian Blanch (a moth)
7 - Old bread (Hovis, Best of Both - Expiry date 29/10/12)
8 - My left ball/nut - i.e the one that isn't black and revolting and doesn't smell like the end of the world.
9 - Tent pegs / porridge
10 - Wood lice (32 of the bastards)
11 - An AC adaptor for a Panasonic KX T1418 2 Cassette Remote Answering machine.
12 - Clunes / Martin Clunes (fist/ears/tongue)
13- Rats
14 - Wax (I set my head on fire doing this one - Hahahhahahahaha)
15- A couple of hours ago I, sort of, licked the exhaust pipe of a van. Does that count? Does that count? I suppose it's my list. Yeah, I licked the exhaust pipe at the back of the van (Citroen Berlingo) and it tasted like soot and I got a bit of an erection and I started crying. It was weird. Won't be making that mistake again.
*Owen Cromwell
