that my mate
has told me
- He used to live inside Anne Robinson's mind
- He used to own an enormous shire horse called 'Perfect Geoffrey'
- If he eats soup then his wings catch fire
- He divorced Cameron Diaz because she believed in ghosts
- He invented Magnesium
- If you put one of his feathers into a computer disk drive then it will automatically open up Encarta '95
- Sexy Chris is latin for 'Sky Champion'
- He played all the piano parts on 'OK Computer' by Radiohead
- If he tries really hard then he can bring the dead back to life
- He's seen 'High School Musical 2' over 75 000 times
- He has a street named after him in Buenos Aires. (And a cafe named after him in Tunisia)
- He's got cancer in his fucking beak
- He used to be a human called Gary Fisher but he got drunk and woke up as an owl
- He taught Bonnie Tyler how to ride a bike (bmx)
- He used to work in a florists and deliver flowers to MI5
- He once flew so high that he started to experience zero gravity and he would have floated off into outer space if he didn't have such strong wings
- He was once shot in the face by Lorraine Kelly
- 'Saving Private Ryan' is loosely based on his life
- He wasn't allowed on 'Countdown' because he used to have a swastika tattooed on his hind quarters.
- He recently met Jesus behind the 'Bowlplex' in Surrey Keys and they did a shit load of pills.
- He used to own Anne Boleyn's skull but he lost it when he moved house.
- Jackie Chan once invited him to an orgy in Bracknell.
He talks such a load old bollocks. I fucking hate Sexy Chris. I hope he dies soon.