An Idea For 

S T A R T E R S 
Bag Of Teeth
Served with twigs and pretend jam 6.00

Racist Eggs
With anti semitic toast and nice herbs (Over 18s) 7.00

Ghost Duck Paste
Slices of a duck's soul served in a child's ballet shoe 11.00

S O U P 
And grit 4.50

Cream of Sodium Chloride 11.50

Shattered Dreams
Served ice cold with a pint of tears (and paprika) 6.30

Naughty Beef
A delicious tenderloin served with photographs of apartheid atrocities. Upsetting. 15.00

Meat Lottery
The Chef has discovered a portal to another dimension in the back of the fridge. Random cuts of unknown meat appear every Tuesday. Grilled in super strength lager. Confusing and delicious 25.00

Sleeping Poultry
Served alive in brine. Ask your waiter whether you'd like it to be dreaming about its childhood or whether you'd prefer it to be suffering from disturbing night terrors 13.00

Cold Shoulder
Shoulder of disgruntled pork. All of our pigs are guaranteed to have had a right attitude problem. Presented with anger on a bed of crisps 19.30

F I S H 
Hilarious Trout
GSOH (Great sense of humour). Cooked by our resident paedophile. With chips or new potatoes 11.00

Wanker Crab
Cooked in the engine of a Kawasaki motorcycle and served in your lap by the bins (alone) 17.17

Gary Pallet The Lonely Sea Bass
Served with a little dance 8.00

Bureaucratic Squid
Served with unnecessary admin and presented in a shoe box full of wires and cables 13.01

Prawn Cocktail : The Musical
Music by Tim Rice. (Very soily) Tickets - £45

S I D E S 
A bitchy comment 4.00
Memories of Bishops 5.00
Chips (Subject to Availability) 1.00
Old Ham 8.00
Unlicensed Tramp Boxing 3.00
Cells 2.50
Ungrateful Beans 2.00
A Documentary about Grandma (Fried/battered) 3.76

D R I N K S 
Dog Milk 3.50
Seepage (Eggs?) 2.00
A Syrupy/Boiling Hot Drink 6.00
Horrible Cordial 8.50