a possible afternoon
with a worm

  1. Meet the worm
  2. Kiss the worm on the cheek/worm
  3. Offer the worm a drink/lunch/massage (offer to pay half of the bill)
  4. Chat with the worm. Have fun with the bastard
  5. Go for a nice walk around a National Trust garden/stately home
  6. Buy the worm something in the gift shop (pencil/pencil case depending on how well the date is going)
  7. Get off with the worm behind some bins
  8. Gin and tonic? Take the worm for a gin and tonic
  9. Get drunk with the worm
  10. Start crying and talking about all the problems you've been having with Lisa. Talk about the affair
  11. Get into an argument with the worm. Get unnecessarily aggressive and start being sick. Shout at the worm. Start screaming at the cunt as if you've completely lost your marbles
  12. Glass the worm with a bottle of WKD
  13. Get your coat and ask if the worm would like a lift home
  14. Drop the worm home and kiss the worm on the cheek again. Be the perfect gent
  15. Wave farewell to the worm
  16. Go home and have a wank and a long hard think about what you're doing with your life

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